Saturday, January 9, 2010


Sooooo sorry about that last post. It was so unlike me. Usually when my bucket runs dry, it's a slow leak and I'm prepared for it. I can usually staunch the flow before I bleed out. But this time, well, let's just say Julia needs a new hairbrush. (whack, whack, whack) Bless her heart.

So missionary son wrote to us yesterday, and we were THRILLED to read of his 'spirichal' growth for the week, with the BEST story of all consisting of having a horrible urge to laugh at a really inappropriate time. ALSO, having an equally terrifying urge to break wind, at the same indecent moment.

Trying his best to stifle BOTH the hilarity AND the bowels proved to be too much for the poor lad, and he had to choose one or the other to blow out of an orifice. He chose wrong. A giant flatulent rrrrrriiiippped right through his trousers, filling the air~with sound and essence~(two senses at once~he's an overachiever like his mom) in front of an entire room full of missionary peers... as well as a woman investigating the church.

I know. (Head tilt, heart pat) So proud. (two handed tear fan)

Unintentional though it was, not his proudest moment. In fact, his words were, "MY LIFE IS OVER!!!" And it very well may be, since his own mother just posted about it on her blog. Honestly! Can you believe her? That dame is so self serving.

Anyway, apparently they serve these 2,500 young men a diet LOADED with fart-inducing fare. And let's face it~these are NINETEEN year old young men~BOYS, really~donning zits and Adams apples bigger than their skulls~being sustained with a steady diet of churros, broccoli and processed cheese. (I'm just guessing) So really...REALLY...what is the disgust and faux outrage all about, people? I mean, have you EVER known an adolescent male to be discerning about where or when he rids himself of discomfort? Answer: Eyebrow raise.

By the way, I'm still waiting for more "Best of blog" input. Remember, your donation comes with an all expense paid "acknowledgment" shout out...which I think we all agreed, was very meaningful to everyone. OK? OK. (hand claps) Now let's get bizzy!

Early church tomorrow. Nine year old sleep over last night. Saturday Mom all day today. 'Nuff said.


Pezlady Jana said...

Oh my crap! That was too funny!! Been there done that, wrote the book....and I am a GIRL!!! Missions in Brazil make you fart and have dye-rah (that's what we call diarhea, so no one else knows what we are talking about...) and it stinks. literally. So fun!! Love your blog. The whole thing. You are hilarious!!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

The best! However since your son has learned from his mother to be an over achiever...he will handle this problem much easier than the other men serving...they can take lessons from him.

See...I am struggling to get out the door...curlers in my hair...eating breakfast reading your blog.
Just had to see what spirichal growth was...who knew it was about gas? Thats what makes it so fun.