Wednesday, January 27, 2010

HYSTERICAL

Well hello there! JAZZ HANDS TO THE HEAVENS as I drop to my knees in thanks and humility for having my headache scooped out like pumpkin guts. I am light as a jack-o-lantern now and feeling dazzling and witty...

...which reminds me of how absolutely hysterical I was at the dentist's office the other day! Seriously, folks, I slayed the entire room! It was GENIUS! Every word out of my MOUTH was crazy brilliant, and it just got better as I went along. EVERYBODY was laughing! Everybody! Especially the voices inside my head. I was connecting nouns and verbs that NORMALLY, wouldn't have even gone together, let alone have been considered amusing. But THIS TIME, SOMEHOW, it was COMEDIC AMBROSIA!!!

It didn't last, sadly. Not sure why. It was like as soon as they were done, and took the pig nose off my face, things weren't quite the same. I think a pall was cast over the room, as they were all kind of sad to see me go. Grief and mourning.

Lucky for them, I'm going back in tomorrow for a couple of cavity fills. Let the hilarity recommence!

Aaaaanyway...as a side note, I was able to return to my own bed last night, as husband's uvula (is it just me, or does that sound gross? OK, yeah, it sounds gross) is returning to standard size and air can now pass through with less irritation...to me. Oh, no. No, no, no, you sillies. He still SNORES. Just at a lower decibel. But I figure it's a little bit like insurance that he'll never leave me. Just like my stretch marks ensure I'll never leave him. Bound forever through our imperfections~it's for our own good and the good of our eternal family.

All part of the plan, peeps. All part of the plan.








6 comments:

kara elmore said...

It's about TIME you mentioned that uvula sounded gross! It's always bothered me ... but to see you write it I thought otherwise ... because if LISA says it - it's GOLD. But then I saw it in italics ... and it even looks worse. Yep - let's pick a new word. A word they haven't thought of - and then let's picked the schools and tell all the kids that it's the NEW word and see if it catches on. It will. because it's us. duh. FUNNY!

kara elmore said...

I meant PICKET - not picked. duh. FUNNY!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Oh no...now we get to read FUNNY SISTERS COMMENTS...have to run to the store!

Krista said...

I agree that uvula is a gross word, too. At first I thought, "Do men have one of those?" Then I looked at the word again. Whew! I will just shut up right here because I need to think pure thoughts now. Forgive me.

Lisa said...

I know! I kind of raise an eyebrow about the whole "naming a throat part a could-be-sexually-explicit word." In my world, only benign sounding parts, with one word that makes it nasty, added to everything that IS nasty. Like bum. So bum-bum. Or breast-bum. Or nipple-bum. That way, there's no wonderin'.

Fat, Female and Forty said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the entertainment!