Hello there, dear BBFF's! OK, here's what's goin' down. I need some input. Putting together a "query" letter for agents and I need to send my best work...so that I can be published...because remember, I already have the perfect 'book tour' outfit and shoes? (see above picture, which may or may not be the right pair~because there are just so many other shoes in the sea, and I don't want to limit myself to only one option, just in case we're not fully compatible) But apparently I need a book to publish in order to go on a book tour, and to be seen in the perfect book tour outfit and shoes...so I shall need YOUR help. YOUR intelligent, brilliant insight. Would you be so kind as to put together your "top ten list" of Lisa's blog posts? Or if you can't stand to re-read so much tripe, just your top three.
Then I'll compile, add, subtract, ignore some, trump up others, paint blue and sprinkle glitter and we'll come up with a final list together. Then it's like you're RIGHT THERE WITH ME when I'm spurned...over...and over...and over again. But remember that misery loves company, so we'll ALL hang out by the mailbox, sipping our Dr. Peppers over rabbit poop ice and cackling and laughing in unison, reading the rejection form letters and mocking the stupid editors and agents, as we huddle and freeze in our nightgowns like one big, happy BBFF family. (everyone remember to brush your teeth, cuz there will be lots of 'close talking')
Now, just to cover all bases, in case an acceptance wiggles and worms it's way through the postal process, I SHALL NOT FORSAKE THEE, FRIENDS. In fact, so beholden to you sweeties will I be, that I will give EVERY ONE OF YOU A SHOUT OUT in my "acknowledgments." Which is very meaningful to all of you, I can tell. But you deserve it, dear hearts. You deserve it. (head cock, pursed lips, heart pound and two fingered kiss)
But only if you send me your list. The rest of you shall remain anonymous, and that's sad, because as everybody knows, the reason for existence is fame. That's right, fame. Because it's long lasting...and eternal in nature...never changing and definitely not fickle.
Which is why I'm seeking it. My wisdom and foresight amazes even me.
Oh, I can hardly wait! Good times await us, blog friends. Good times.
So let's get to readin' and list making! And if by chance, your comments on the blog will not publish, as has been known to happen WAY TOO FREAKIN' MANY TIMES...which MAKES ME REALLY ANGRY...but should that happen, then send me your list to my email address:
firstname.lastname@example.org~and we'll call it "WISE FAME SEEKING" in the subject box. There.
Consider me mouth breathing over your shoulders right now. That should hurry things along.