Thursday, January 7, 2010


Did I ever tell you all that I was the base of every pyramid I was ever a part of? Yes. Yes, I was. The base of every...single...pyramid. (she said dejectedly)

The brown trunk for the leafy treetops.

The unnoticed stem of the blossoming rose.

The earth's concealed magma core.

Which is the position they save for the most feminine, elegant, teeny tiny Disney princess on the team. Obviously.

Which brings us to a gem I like to call, "Snake-face Stephen and his venomous comment that almost drove me to sucking down Tablespoons full of vomit inducing Ipecac." Let us commence...

Stephen was in the gym early, before the basketball game, and sadly, so was I. He had slithered and perched right in front of me with his permanent wave hair, tortoise shell glasses (with gradient shading~they got darker the higher you went~like a windshield) and brown knit shirt with horizontal stripes. (Mm hmmm. Just sayin') He then leaned over to the girl next to him and fork-tongue HISSED while pointing strait at me with obvious glee, "That's Lisa. Yeah, her. She's the biggest cheerleader." And the girl nodded as she looked me up and down in critical assessment.

And I bent over to tie my shoe...

...and died a thousand deaths.

That night I went home, went to the medicine closet and pulled out the case with first aid supplies. "In case of poisoning" it said. Exactly what had happened~I'd been poisoned. But fortunately for me, the antidote was already in my system.

Self worth, a comforting gift from my Heavenly Father, kicked in immediately and the anti-venom had been at work since I'd bent to tie my shoe. I didn't realize it yet, but as soon as I held the bottle in my hands, I almost laughed aloud at my own melodrama. "Are you kidding me? You know who you are, Lisa. And THIS is NOT who you are." And I pushed the case back into the closet, arose and went into the kitchen for a treat. (Apparently, THAT is who I am. Surprise, surprise.)

I don't really know how it happened~that I was saved from a life filled with self doubt and destructive choices. A tender mercy, absolutely. An inborn spiritual strength, positively. A raising up by goodly...and Godly...parents, as the BASE for who I was...and am...and will continue to be, undeniably.

And so, I AM THE BASE of every pyramid. Every. Single. Pyramid. (she said majestically)

The mother of the family.

The rock for the wise-man's house.

The Spanx underneath the little black dress.

Go ahead. Climb on. I hold strong.


Mandy said...

That's just awesome.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE YOU!!!--Anony :)

Amberlee said...

Oh Lis,

I too was always the Bottom. Reading this made me feel so much better about that. The truth of it is... they needed us! You are so profound, poignant, and poetic. If I could think of some other wonderful 'p' words to throw in I would, feel free to thorw in your own.

Love you.

Lisa said...

Anony~do you love me because I'm thin? Or because I'm your "supplier?" Either way is fine with me. :) I LOVE YOU, TOO.

Erica said...

You are a GEM! (Which, ironically, can only be found beneath the earth's surface.) Keep it up...oh, and I'm watching your visitor stats. Pretty impressive, missy. We should set a goal and have a party when you reach 1,000 (or maybe that might be too soon... :) 5,000?).

kara elmore said...

Last night I lay in bed thinking up your picture I would do for you on the back of your book jacket. In between barfs. And I imagined sitting next to you while you signed books and we laughed and I adored you from inches away -knowing that you were MY sister and I knew you. And YOU knew you. And I was proud. And mom and dad are proud.

And that was BEFORE you wrote this. So I won. Because I thought it first. Even in between barfs.

Janine said...

Remember in high school when we decided to see who could loose the most weight? Well I decided to tell a loving friend all about it. Her comment to me was...."But Lisa doesn't need to loose weight!" However, what I heard was.... "Lisa is the most darling, skinny cheerleader. She doesn't need to loose weight. She is only doing this to help YOU loose weight. How in the world do you allow yourself to leave the house each day without wearing a bag over your head? You HUGE PIG!"

I was always there for ya Lis, even if you didn't know it! =0)

Lisa said...

Oh. My. Heck. Janine, that slays me. Isn't self-perception a cruel master? Let's go get something to eat. We'll feel better.

Love you all, BBFF's!

Angie said...

No need to think about my favorite post I just found it! I had a convulsive, fly my head back and forth, slap the bed laugh! Many times I put my white cheer shoes on your rump knowing you would hold me up with your strong LEAN beautiful body! Both of my girls have always been the base holding up their twiggy little cousins! I have told them to be proud of being the base and now you have just confirmed it again. You remember so much detail from high school, if my children ever write a book about me and need info they are calling you..... oh wait nevermind you remember EVERYTHING!

Love ya Lisa

Lisa said...

Yes, you DID put your white spider killers on my rump~the "lean" description is debatable. And I DO remember everything...with a slight twist that makes me look good, but whatever. Prove it. :)